Dentist

Friday. Dentist. Routing cleaning (i think).

I arrive six minutes early. I want the dentist to know i take this seriously. Nice lady at the desk gives me a clipboard.

Fine. Paperwork. A test. I'm good at tests.

Medications. Insurance. Emergency contact. Gum bleeding. Dental anxiety. I write "0" for anxiety.

I see him. Nemesis. Damn.

By the fish tank. No clipboard. Phone face down. Hands folded. Just... hanging out.

He nods, I nod back.

He says "cleaning?"

I say "routine."

Good. Detached. Medical. All business.

nemisis glances at my clipboard for a half second. I angle it away from him.

hygienist opens the door and calls his name. What. He arrived after me, didn't he?

It's fine. Different hygienist. Different mouth queue? Nothing to do with rank.

Nemesis stands up fast. Little pocket pat. Phone. Keys. His pants are clearly tailored. Damnit.

I return to the form.

Do you floss daily? I check "yes" because aspirationally yes.

Do your gums bleed? Poorly scoped question. I check "sometimes." Red blooded american. All parts of me bleed.

I wonder what nemesis checked. I try to picture nemesis flossing. Weird.

I hand it in. Front desk says "we'll get you shortly." I peer at the clock. That could mean anything.

I am growing impatient.

Nemesis comes out holding the little bag. I can see a blue toothbrush peeking out the top. why are the bags too small for the toothbrush? the toothbrush is like 90% of the gift. Bigger bags would make it feel more... put together?

Nemesis sees me see the toothbrush and looks unsure of himself.

"Good seeing you" he says

"Yeah man, enjoy the rest of your mouth"

Bad.

Nemesis pauses. I smile through the blunder. Disaster. He leaves.

They call my name. Chair. Bib. Sunglasses. Tiny sink. The hygienist asks how my teeth have been.

I say "pretty consistent." She seems satisfied with that answer, but i'm not sure if it makes sense. I'm still rattled.

She starts cleaning. Immediate blood. "A little bleeding today" she says.

"Yeah, i've been eating a lot of almonds". A lie. Would almonds do that?

She says "hmm". I sense her doubt. I didn't mean literal almonds. The scraping continues.

At the end she gives me a bag. Green toothbrush. Pretty good.

She says "oh, you got one of the soft ones." Jackpot.

I leave. Parking lot. Nemesis is still there. Sitting in his car. Eating an apple. Wait i thought we weren't supposed to do that.

Nemesis sees my bag, rolls down window.

"They gave you green?"

I hold it up, say nothing. Nemesis looks at his blue. Tiny silence. I continue to my car.

I check the bag again. Green. Soft.

I start my car. Neither of us backs out. Fully charged macbook and tethered iphone. I can do this all day.